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Those Who Feel Alone

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New but still fit the description... [11 Sep 2009|10:03am]

[ mood | depressed ]

Is it uebr wierd that I'm depressed becasue I have to go to school today? I just discovered that I have social anxiety and I figured out why. So now that I know, everytime I have to be around people I feel sluggish and sad. I wanna make friends but I really feel like they'll reject me. I don't know....maybe I should just sit and watch my entire time in college.....

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space/mindset [24 Aug 2009|02:48am]

I ran into a old friend that i had not seen i some time. We caught up with what has been happening in our lives. Both of us have an interest in the mind/psychology. He brought up that i do not like people entering into my personal space.

I still am very aware of people that enter into that space. I don't like it and i will do what i need to maintain it. To an extent i have even bit teased about it. Frankly its getting to the point i could care less. I don't think i am the only person that gets offended when someone gets into your space.

I have few days till fall semester starts and it seems people are just pushing my buttons. I need more time to recharge than usual they last few days. Also all the social nice-ities meaning smiling and being generally courteous is wearing thin on me. Seems i just want to do what i need and leave people by without having to slap on some fake smile on my face.
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Confrontations [11 Aug 2009|08:03am]
Most of you probably have just as much trouble with confrontations as I do.  I'm going through a really tough time right now and could use some advice.  I just broke up with my alcoholic husband--I let him find out by being served divorce papers because I couldn't bear to confront him about it myself.  He was given 24 hours to vacate, and I changed my locks and my phone number.  But he keeps calling the landline because he left a lot of stuff here and wants it back.  Part of me wants to think "oh well he was given 24 hours too bad," but I know I can't do that.  But I never want to have to see him again after what he's put me through, and I couldn't handle the confrontation.  Just the thought of it makes me lightheaded.  I don't know if he even remembers being served or escorted out by the police, since he was drunk the entire time.
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Understanding the experience of social anxiety [03 Mar 2009|09:34pm]

My name is James Williams. I am currently undertaking a PhD in Psychology at Swinburne University in Melbourne, Australia. I am interested in some of the personality processes involved in social phobia and social anxiety. The results of the study are expected to have implications for improving the ways in which we can help people to overcome their anxiety.

I am just wondering if anyone was interested in participating in this study. I am looking for people who suffer from social anxiety and also those who do not. The study is entirely web based and can be found at http://opinio.online.swin.edu.au/s?s=5214

The questionnaire is long but you can save your progress and return to finish the questionnaire later.

If anyone has any questions about the study, please feel free to contact me - JSWilliams1979@gmail.com

Your participation in this project would be greatly appreciated.

Kind regards

James Williams

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I Am New [06 Jan 2009|12:57am]

[ mood | bored ]

Ello i am Lime
i am shy sad and bored so i guess two out of three isn't bad
Ive only just joined LJ and am looking for some people to type to to cure my chronic boredom
and i would also like to know how life is in your part of the world O.o?

4 comments|post comment

social stigma [05 Jan 2009|03:23pm]

I remember reading someone's student/job recommendation awhile back and it said, "she may be introverted, but will respond to needs - she IS NOT shy."

When I read this it made me feel that society disdains that attribute to a greater degree than previously thought.
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True Love [27 Dec 2008|11:38am]


I had it... once - it was too good to be true, but I was too afraid to say anything because I was afraid I would lose a relationship mid-college career, and now I've lost the opportunity to make one. I knew this problem was going to happen ahead of time when I first saw him. I thought I could handle it and make things better, but I just became a coward. He knew everyone picked on me. People watching what I'd do or say scared me from talking to him. All I can do now is hope for the opportunity to talk to him and tell him how I felt and thank him for making my dream/wish come true for awhile by truly caring about me for so long. I never thought I could be this happy, but at the same time I honestly thought he would leave me once he realized the true me (since he seemed to be blinded by love).
I am shy, unstable, lack social interest and skills, full of health problems, psychically sensitive and weak, easily scared and talk to myself. On top of this I hate what I'm going to be doing for a job, have no close friends in person, and my parents don't like each other (dad may have cheated, mom is stuck with him though) and don't like me that much either. My parents are angry whenever I get depressed and think I'm either possessed, mentally too free, brainwashed (I have my own ideas), or should be out earning money. I've applied to one paid internship. I was diagnosed with paranoia and depression before college so they don't really believe that anything bad can happen to me. I was harrassed by a doctor and felt uncomfortable around the physical therapists, and have been stalked on campus - still being stalked by students and strangers. I emailed to campus security but my dad was so angry since he didn't believe anything bad could happen. My parents don't think anything will happen, and I hope they are right. But if something does happen, my parents will probably never believe me. They think I'm hallucinating.
My psychiatrist told me 3.5yrs ago that there is someone for everyone, and that I should get a boyfriend. My dad was angry when he found out I liked a guy on campus. He prevented me from meeting him once or twice. My parents don't really believe in love and keep telling me to wait till I work in a warmer state and meet someone there because MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LOVE and I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend due to my instability and money. They couldn't believe that some guy would like me the way I was without changing my appearance.
I don't know what to say anymore except that I'm probably going to be depressed for a long time until I meet someone who loves me and I am willing to love back without fear. I guess that's the next step.
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New Here [16 Dec 2008|08:55pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Hello All.

I've got that sinking, hopeless feeling right now.  Like I'm struggling to just keep treading water.  I just joined LJ again in hopes of finding new friends and support when I need it most.  I've always had social anxiety worse than anyone I've ever met.  Depression off and on.  I just got back from Iraq two weeks ago.  It wasn't that bad over there, really.  But now I'm back and everyone just went on leave.  I'm alone in the barracks for a whole month.  I was just starting to make friends finally when we got back, and now everyone's gone and not a single text message or phone call from anyone. 

I've been eating a lot lately and I feel unattractive and out of shape.  I tend to eat a lot when I'm bored and lonely.  I wish someone was here.  Now I feel like no one likes me because no one's said so much as "what's up?" and they've been gone since Friday....  I know they're all with their families for the first time in 15 months, and common sense says they're probably just overwhelmed with all of that, but I feel so lonely and unloved. 

Anyone with some time on their hands.  Anyone at all.  It would be most appreciated.

10 comments|post comment

newbie [30 Nov 2008|07:33pm]

[ mood | blah ]

hi all..

im new to this & just figured i'd post an entry here...  i guess i'll say a little about myself.  i keep to myself for the most part with the exception of a select few who i feel most comfortable around and know i can count on.  i could be considered an introvert; i really value my alone time although there are times when i wish i were more social.  but anyway... im just looking to find some friends to talk to.

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Just Gave A Speech [10 Nov 2008|10:06am]

I've only given 2 speeches/presentations on alternative education; one paper on unschooling - wished I had done 2..
I finished my last one todayand did so-so as a nervous, introverted wreck.... I hope - although I'm kinda sad because I want to let more people know about it. That just makes me regret picking a Saturday class for speech last semester.
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Date Blade! [19 Oct 2008|03:15pm]

He's 27, he's German, and yes, his name is Blade. And he's never been kissed. Could he be your Seth Rogen/Michael Cera/Steve Carell? You'll never know if you don't try! Give a nice guy a chance =) He's right in Vancouver =)

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For those of you still in school.. [17 Oct 2008|10:02pm]

Given how people can be at traditional schools..

Have you considered going to a democratic school, open school, free school, or alternative college (like Naropa, Prescott, Evergreen, Sterling, Goddard, Hampshire, New College of CA, CIIS etc...)?
Would you send your kids (hypothetical kids) to these types of schools?

I wanted to go to such a school, but I'm not near any - so I plan on helping them out in the future.
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Hi? [04 Oct 2008|08:06pm]

I've been on lj for a while and never attempted to post to any communities. I'm e-shy. :( So I figured this would be an ok place to start. So.......hi everyone.
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random observation [03 Oct 2008|11:45am]

This student on campus was laughing at me while pushing her daughter? in a stroller. It makes me sad how people like this will raise their children to be like them. For those of you who read my "mean girls" post - I'm in college so theoretically people have grown up/or I should have grown up and gotten away from the situation. It turns out half the adults in the U.S. don't change much past high school.
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Does having S.A.D. ever make you think of [11 Sep 2008|06:53pm]

alternative education? I've thought of unschooling because there is no free school or democratic school here.
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Odd notice [09 Sep 2008|08:27pm]

Girls to me are supposed to stand up to guys, but instead they tear each other apart. Maybe that's what perpetuating some chauvinist views about females. Whenever I get picked on, psychologically I find it surprising now that girls choose to be meaner to girls than to guys.
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Frustrated with parents [24 Aug 2008|08:50pm]

What do you do when your parents don't understand, think you're oversensitive or mentally wayward, think something's wrong with you for being socially anxious, and get angry with you since you can't do anything worth $$ to get out (due to fear) - get a job/get into a good enough college far away... etc.?

On top of all that, no friends or a significant other... :' (
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[13 Jul 2008|01:37am]

[ mood | sick ]

urgh. ever since 3 this afternoon, i have had THE worst migraine of my life. it doesnt help that when i get migraines, i also throw up.
i blame the lexapro. 98% of the mirgraines and 80% of the headaches ive had occurred when i started taking that.
i took a pill, i havent looked it up yet so i dont know what it is, but its used to get rid of nausea, spasms, and insomnia. some sort of antihistamine i do believe.
i was scared to death this afternoon, i thought something was wrong with me because i never felt like this before. i doubt anyone would prescribe me migraine medication.
any cures?

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I'm A Newbie :) [10 Jul 2008|03:26pm]

[ mood | hopeful ]

ive been an lj for a little over two years now, and i am just now working up the courage to go join some communities. i feel quite ashamed, feeling shy in a community that is nothing but shy and lonely people. :/
i became depressed about two years ago too, around the same time i joined lj. thats when i became shy and whatnot, i suppose. i still have random bursts of happiness and hyperness.
about a month and a half ago, i attempted suicide. i went to a psych ward and got diagnosed with GAD, ODD, and something else i cant remember. im currently taking lexapro, though i dont believe its helping much.
i also suffer from an addiction to opioid painkillers, but no one knows that except whoever reads my journal.
i love my mom, but in general, i dont care for my family that much. especially my dad. and i inherited a lot of bad genes from both sides. not to mention the bad habits i picked up as a young kid.
its hard for me to describe myself. you kind of have to know me before you understand.
enough of the bad stuff though, im here to meet new people. i love helping people and making them feel good. hopefully ill make some nice friends. and actually keep them. :) so feel free to message, comment, text, whatever you please. i will say that i believe im quite good at keeping a conversation going as long as the other person makes an effort.

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In the cards. [14 Mar 2008|05:23am]
Do you ever feel like it's in your destiny to simply be too awkward/shy/ and so forth?
7 comments|post comment

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